project: progress

one week of cleansing is (almost) officially done.  it has been interesting so far, but i've managed to avoid caving to temptations.

my diet this past week has basically looked like this:

breakfast: green or black tea and a mason jar of "everything but the kitchen sink" juice (celery, cucumber, carrots, apples, bok choy, cabbage, jicama, ginger, cilantro, parsley, spinach, yellow bell pepper, etc.)

lunch: another 1/2 mason jar of said juice (supplemented with almonds and slices of carrots/red bell peppers)

dinner: 1/2 mason jar of chicken broth with vegetables (if i've worked out that day, will throw some chicken in there as well), followed by some rooibos tea

snacks: carrot sticks, red bell pepper slices, almonds, guacamole (homemade)

so that's that, folks.  this is what i've been subsisting on for the past week and, for the most part, i feel great!  was originally intending to do solely juice and vegetables, but on day 3 realized that being physical (yoga, gym, dancing, etc) meant that i needed to throw some protein in there.  wound up macking on a little bit of tofu fried in coconut oil, as well, but could tell it was what my body needed.  if anything, this cleanse has been an interesting experiment in really listening to what my body is telling me... now that i've completely cut processed and manufactured foods out of my diet, i realize that when my body is feeling a bit weak after yoga or the gym it's really screaming, "i need protein!".

though it has been fairly smooth sailing, i can't say that i haven't been tempted to say "fuck it".  this past friday was especially difficult, as the universal entities culminated in a perverse trifecta of egg rolls, tamales and pizza at the school.  oh, how i wanted a bite of those greasy, delectable treats!  it took every ounce of willpower not to succumb to those cravings... what helped the most was realizing that 30 days of not eating stuff like that isn't the end of the world.  come the end of december, i can stuff my face with all the egg rolls i want (however, i'm hoping at that point i won't even have the desire to!).

the yoga challenge has also been going well.  not gonna lie, have missed a few days... but not for lack of trying!  the yoga studio is in a high-traffic area of berkeley, so going to their evening classes can be tricky when it comes to parking.  that being said, though, i've been active every single day thus far (whether dancing, gymmin it up or gettin my downdog on), so i can't get too down on myself.  in fact, i think the days i don't make it to yoga are a sign of some sort - the universe telling me to take it easy, don't overexert myself, eat some protein for christ's sake!

the personal development aspect of this campaign has been the most difficult thus far.  am currently reading "the four agreements", which i am enjoying as it is strangely relevant to my life and goals right now.  the intro talks mainly about loving ourselves... that we are our own biggest critics and that, by listening to our biggest "judge" (aka ourselves), we are ultimately ingraining an agreement in our minds and souls that says we are stupid, unworthy of love, destitute, etc etc.  this passage especially affected me:

“in your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself.  and the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else… if you abuse yourself very badly, you can even tolerate someone who beats you up, humiliates you, and treats you like dirt.  why?  because in your belief system you say, 'i deserve it.  this person is doing me a favor by being with me.  i’m not worthy of love and respect.  i’m not good enough.'"

 ding ding ding... way to call it how you see it, book.  i am my own worst enemy.  shit. 

so it boils down to this: i must be compassionate with myself and others.  i must be careful and deliberate with my words, as they are the source of my power and love.  and i must forge ahead.  

see you on down the road.