"musings of a millennial", eh? as the turn of the century happened more than a decade ago, the title of this blog seems less apropos than it did when i created this account four years ago. in 2008, being a "millennial" seemed relevant, as i was reaching my mid-twenties (a shiny new pedestal of progression) and had "come into my prime" shortly following the turn of the millennium... unfortunately for me, what i thought was my "prime" was actually an elongated adolescence whose deceit lay ensconced within a delicately-woven tapestry of false volitions. how telling that my first words gracing this blank page will take place four years (1,460 days) down the road from the "old me". 1,460 days ago i had a lot of suspicions as to what my future would look like. 99% of those visions have fallen through. but today i find myself at a precipice, older and ready to grab destiny by the horns. it took me those four years to finally be ready.
now... it is 2012. i'm turning 29 in less than 6 months. i am just now starting to be fully emotionally and spiritually healed from the most heart-wrenching relationship and break-up in my life. i'm becoming more and more certain about what i don't want to do, yet am broaching a level of ambivalence toward what i do want as life catapults me closer and closer to "adulthood" (although, i ascertain that actual adulthood is a complete fabrication). i both count and curse my blessings. i feel in synch with the gentle tides of the universe one day, only to feel as though its monstrous waves are abetted to crash down upon my brow the next. i am so sanely and insanely me. i am a host of contradictions. and i've decided something needs to change. that feeling is what has brought me here, to the ether of the internet, to share these words with you. i am tired of being silent.
the plan for reclaiming ownership of my life, though not concrete, is lofty. on some levels i believe it will be necessary to change dietary and health habits... drink less, smoke less, do cleanses, exercise. another aspect is opening myself up, spiritually and emotionally, to the tides of life. this will involve meditation, yoga, reading, writing and doing art... allowing my soul to affect the world around me, not vice versa. another will merely be to push myself outside of my comfort zones and place myself in situations that will foster personal growth and development. and i'm telling you all this because i am inviting you on my journey.
though this may all seem jumbled, and may not make any sense.... in essence, this is an attempt to find my voice. though i never completely lost it, i have neglected it for a long time, assuming that other people's voices held more weight. i'm ready to reclaim it... and i refuse to spend another 1,460 days trying to find it again.
and i want to know:
"tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
-mary oliver
now... it is 2012. i'm turning 29 in less than 6 months. i am just now starting to be fully emotionally and spiritually healed from the most heart-wrenching relationship and break-up in my life. i'm becoming more and more certain about what i don't want to do, yet am broaching a level of ambivalence toward what i do want as life catapults me closer and closer to "adulthood" (although, i ascertain that actual adulthood is a complete fabrication). i both count and curse my blessings. i feel in synch with the gentle tides of the universe one day, only to feel as though its monstrous waves are abetted to crash down upon my brow the next. i am so sanely and insanely me. i am a host of contradictions. and i've decided something needs to change. that feeling is what has brought me here, to the ether of the internet, to share these words with you. i am tired of being silent.
the plan for reclaiming ownership of my life, though not concrete, is lofty. on some levels i believe it will be necessary to change dietary and health habits... drink less, smoke less, do cleanses, exercise. another aspect is opening myself up, spiritually and emotionally, to the tides of life. this will involve meditation, yoga, reading, writing and doing art... allowing my soul to affect the world around me, not vice versa. another will merely be to push myself outside of my comfort zones and place myself in situations that will foster personal growth and development. and i'm telling you all this because i am inviting you on my journey.
though this may all seem jumbled, and may not make any sense.... in essence, this is an attempt to find my voice. though i never completely lost it, i have neglected it for a long time, assuming that other people's voices held more weight. i'm ready to reclaim it... and i refuse to spend another 1,460 days trying to find it again.
and i want to know:
"tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
-mary oliver
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